one fish, two fish

Some days are just about perfect. You wake up in the morning, perhaps not expecting much of anything. You may even feel a little cranky, but then you take a deep breath, rub the grit out of your eyes and jump into each moment. The thing is, it isn't even that everything goes rosy and smoothly the whole day. It is just that you allow yourself to enjoy it. Today was one of those days. It was an F day, full, flavorful and fun.

The girls swam for the first time today. I love firsts, and the beautiful thing with having children is you get so many of them. We met friends at Ramsey Park. We were late getting out because the girls decided to take a late nap. Then it took us about an hour to gather all our stuff and get out of the house, which is often the case with twins. Once we arrived at the pool at 11:30, we were told by the lifeguard that the pool was reserved for lap swimming until noon. Harumph, so here we are a little frustrated, does this guy realize what it takes to pack up two babes, rub their wiggling screaming bodies with sun lotion, fit them with diapers and swim diapers and get them to the pool in the first place. Now he is telling us that we and all the other families waiting around cannot swim for thirty minutes so that one, count him, one person can do laps in an empty pool? Ok, take a breath. Don't blame the lifeguard, he is just passing on information. "Hey, Honey there's the park want to swing the girls?" "Hey, this is fun too" the girls giggling as they whoosh back and forth. Ursa barely peeking out from under her sun hat, Freya grabbing for Chris's face. The thirty minutes passes so quickly and before the girls have tired of the park, the pool is open for business.

Ted, Lizzie and Hazel arrive just as we are donning our swimsuits and getting ready to take the girls in for their First Dip in a pool. We slowly step down the stairs leading to the shallow end, careful to move slowly so as not to scare the girls. Ursa in my arms, Freya in her Daddy's. As soon as their little legs touch the cool water, they jerk. Freya gets this look on her face of concern, as if to say "What the Hey?". We ease them in a little more. Ursa pulls her legs up and hangs on to me like she never will when we are walking around the house. A little more, they are both starting to make some sounds of concern now, little mmm mmmm mmmm mmm mmmm, sounds. Finally, we have their full little bodies in the water. The water is a tad cold, but starting to feel warmer. The girls at first clingy and unsure start to warm up to the experience too. At first I just swish Ursa around while she holds on to my torso, then as she starts to feel more comfortable I bring her further away from my body holding her under the arms. Chris does the same with Freya. Ok, there it is a smile, I see it as I trail Ursa from my outstretch arms. I make motorboat sounds and begin speeding her around the pool. This cracks her up. I place her belly down floating on the water supported underneath by my hands and she instintively begins to kick her legs and fling her arms. She is now loving it and so is Sister Love. Chris and I speed the girls past each other bringing them closer together in a swim by. They laugh at seeing each other emmersed in the blue coolness. Ursula tries putting her face down in the water and comes up sputtering but happy. These girls are naturals.

Chris and I switch babies and now I have Freya. She took a little longer to warm up to the pool than Ursa, but now she is moving like an old pro bouncing around in my arms as if to say, "Just let me go, Ma and I'll swim to the other side. I can do it. I can do it." I walk backwards trailing Freya close to me. We have a beautiful moment when we lock eyes and just move as one in the pool. They have such gorgeous brown eyes. And the trust that I can see she feels for me is overwhelming. She would do anything for me as long as I was by her side telling her it was ok. I vow never to betray that trust.

Ted, Lizzie and Hazel are in the pool too and we zoom the girl cubs in towards Hazel who is not so sure she is hip to this gig. Finally, we decide to take a break and all clamber out of the pool and back to our picnic table where we collapse on our towels on the grass. All three girls wander around, exchanging sippy cups, eating each others snacks (the other person's is always better) and climbing on all of us. It is evident immediatly that the girl cubs are a bit on the bossy side, thinking they should have everything. Hazel shares with them nicely. We all decide to meet later at our house to grill and finish the evening together.

Before heading home Chris, the girl cubs and I stop off at Amy's Icecream for lunch and then it is off to napland for the girl cubs. While they sleep Chris goes to get his hair cut and to shop for grillin' supplies. I pull out the pink picnic table that my folks gave the cubs for their first birthday, and which has been scattered in pieces around our house for weeks now. I try to work slowly taking time to read and reread the indecipherable instructions. I finally reach my pentacle of frustration when the instructions tell me to screw the leg braces into the ??? but to make sure that you do not screw the shallow end into it. Now, I'm looking at this cheap piece of wood wondering what shallow might mean to the "They" who wrote these instructions. I turn the piece around and around. I check it against the wood. It fits on both ends. Harumph. I decide to go with the end that looks shallower to me and hope for the best. Ok, now attach that whole thing to the legs. Ok, here I go....um, this isn't working...this should be flush with this piece...this IS THE WRONG END...Oh Sugar, I knew it. I chose the wrong shallow end. Um, guys...the end that you call the shallow end is in fact not the most shallow end. Ok, take a breath. Unscrew it . Rework it. I'm actually quite happy that I have managed to do all of this without yelling, without getting disheveled, and without cursing. Hey Hey, look at me. Now if I could only find a short Phillip's head screwdriver we would be in business. Ok, no short screwdriver so I make due with what I have and after about an hour of all this....Ta Dum, one pink child's picnic table replete with sun umbrella. Cute. I mean the picnic table is pink not the child...though my babies sometimes look pink and I call them the pinky twinkies. It is sort of like that song "One eyed, one horn flying purple people eater" I always thought it meant he ate purple people and I would imagine the lives of said aubergine prey, but I digress.

So everyone arrives for the grillin' and the cubs are in rare bossiness form, especially Ursa. She is after everything that Hazel picks up and as soon as she gets it, she throws it aside for the next thing Hazel has laid her hands on. Still, all three seem to be enjoying the company. At one point Lizzie had them all on the piano bench banging on the keys. I think Hazel felt a little crowded as she kept going back to the piano throughout the night looking for an opportunity to get it all to herself. She is an only child, but not for long as Lizzie is cozy with child.

We take them all into the backyard to play with beach balls which they do for a short period of time, but abandon that to more dangerous pursuits. At one point Freya is practically swinging from the lawn mower, um...honey, see that sticker? It says DANGER. Yep, I know you can't read yet, but let's move away from the metal thing with blades. Ursa is picking on the tomato plants, which she loves to attack and trying to eat rocks (her favorite snack). Hazel, much better at self-preservation, rides the Radio Flyer Roadster around while Ursa isn't noticing. We drag the new pink picnic table outdoors for them all to sit at and they love it, all sitting there like big little girls eating pasta and swinging their legs. Ok, this is cuteness incarnate. Seriously, I can't believe that the cubs have been earthside only a year and Hazel a year and a half. Wow.

After we all decide to move inside to partake of our grillin' feast I look to the picnic table to call Ursa. She has crawled on top of the table (she climbs on everything and could climb way before she could walk) She is perched on the tabletop on her knees. Her face is serious, her hands hang by her sides, the evening sunlight contours her face. She scans the backyard as if it say, "This is my domain. I am master." I'm thrilled once again to be watching two humans grow and develop. It takes my breath away.

We all sit down to the table, girl cubs in their highchairs, Hazel on Lizzie's lap. I must admit, I feel a little guilty as I watch the cubs gobble down all the big people I throw on their trays: chicken, steak, cherry tomatoes, green and red peppers, pineapple, bread, peaches, onions. Ted look at them and says, "Wow, they really do eat pretty much anything." Hazel, on the other hand is a very picky eater. Ted says that french fries make up about 80% of her diet. She just won't eat much of anything else. No meat, no vegetables, no fruit really. We saw her eat pasta, bread, and a couple of cranraisins. I feel really guilty when I think about how Lizzie shared Hazel's pasta with them because the grillin' was taking too long. I didn't even think about it at the time, but that was all the food Hazel would have and here was Lizzie giving it to my foodmonsters. Lizzie, is an angel. Well, I think. "At least Hazel naps, my girls strongly dislike napping. So I guess we're all even"

After, we've cleaned up, bayed the Glick Gang, Goodnight and popped our bathed and pooped cubs into bed. Chris and I wrap our arms around each other. "I had fun with you today, My Wife." Chris says to me. Ah, yes...me too. A perfect day. Then I think. Gee everyday with these cubs is a perfect day, whether I'm tearing my hair out, or having "Gogol Hour" where I dance madly with the girls to fun music...Everyday is perfect. I kiss Chris and take a breath.

My Day Now

Happy Mother's Day to me and Happy Birthday to my girl cubs. So, the girl cubs have turned a year old. Wow, that cliche about time flying...well it is true. I remember when we first brought them home and it was so so hard and I thought..."Ugh, a year...that is forever. How are we going to make it?" And it really seemed so far off and the time seemed to be moving so slowly. And now that we are on the other side of it, it seems to have whisked by as if yesterday I was snuggling these two tiny babes in my arms. Clumsily trying to nurse, fumbling to pick them both up at the same time, crying because I just didn't see how I was going to survive days by myself caring for two babies without help or a break.

I still wonder some days how I"m going to survie by myself caring for two babies, but somehow we make it through and they are big and walking and gorgeous and I now can pick them both up without any problems, just one scoop of the arms. And I can also nurse them both no problems and even wish some days that I hadn't gotten so good at it because they can be little titty monsters. I look back at this year and know I've never been through anything so difficult, so sublime.

Sometimes I look at those two crazy girls and am struck by how miraculous it is that I created them. My body created those two beings. They started out as an egg that I would previously suppress monthly and some sperm that usually pooped out because it had no destination and bing bam boom, two beautful glowing girls, full of energy and pizazz and mania. Full of life. It blows my mind. And I see photos of myself big and heavy pregnant with them and I'm so proud of me, that I carried two babies at once. Look, there...inside of me two babies. Where did I put them? Fully baked and ready to go, put your helmets on, buckle your seatbelt WE ARE OFF. And now they topple along, walking stiff and bow legged, their little elblows bent and hands up by their sides for balance, bellies poking out in front so determined to explore everything.

Oh, the joy they express when they are delighted with something. Oh the agony they express when they are mad and frustrated. And it changes in a second, one from another like a mad Le Coquian game. So complete in their emotional response. Their smiles oh their smiles. They have the sparkle and the shine those two. Yesterday we set up the sprinkler for them in the back yard for the first time. Martin and Liz were over visiting and we stripped the girl cubs of their clothes and set them loose in the water. They shreaked and laughed hobbling along as fast as they could through the water, "running" from the drops of water as they splashed across their backs. Their smiles were huge, beeming brighter than the sun. You couldn't even see their eyes they were smiling so much. Little naked babies waddling around, falling in the dirt and wet grass covered in debri, loving every second. It was one of the most joyous sights I"ve ever experienced. Freya would sneak up towards the sprinkler and laugh and look at me as the water splashed. She would be a little tentative and then waddle away as fast as she could only to return again drawn in by this new sensory experience. Ursula would jolt along with cheer dripping from her face loving the outdoor nakedness, taking time out to explore the bar-b-que grill nearby. When Chris picked them up to hold them over the sprinkler so as to clean their nethers from the dirt and grass they were mucking about in, they would both kick and goof and laugh full belly laughs. They thought it was all hilariously funny. After we finished they were head to toe in filth from the lawn so we plopped them into an early bath and aftwards all played on the piano. They love music and will bounce up and down pudgy knees bending in time to the music or swaying back and forth like Stevie Wonder in concert.

Hmmm, so lovely so tiring. Speaking of tiring. I am. So off to bed soon, but I am a very happy mommy. Even though the girls are sleeping poorly again. They are happy and healthy and that makes it all ok. I am stong and mighty, each day we are all learning more and more about each other, we will survive and not only survive, we will thrive.