Ok, I'm not doing well at blogging. I really want to do this at least once a week, but....big sigh here...I get so carried away with life that I forget to record it. I suppose things could be worse. I know that being in the moment fully is more important than snapping a photo or writing a paragraph...but I really want to record it, damn it. So here we are, the cubs are almost two and a half now and the last time I wrote was at nineteen months. I have little notes all over the house hiding on scraps of paper and forgotten notebooks of our adventures but no one place to store it. So I'm making yet another commitment to this blogging thing. The community aspect of it isn't even what it is about, though I do lurk on others blogs. No for me, I just want to remind myself of the little things that mean so much to me.
Tonight the cubs are sleeping in their very own "Big Girl" bed for the very first time. The are usually each in their own crib and then come to the family bed in the middle of the night. We tried for nine months to start out in the family bed and then no one slept. It seems so many of my preconceived notions of parenthood have flown out the window. We finally had to give in and put them in seperate cribs, which meant that even though I was still waking every forty-five minutes to nurse a baby (the girls alternated night-time feedings one every hour pretty much on the hour) I could at least sleep for that forty-five minutes. Once we put them in cribs they started falling asleep so easily and early at night. It is the only easy thing about their sleep typically so I was nervous to take the cribs away. But, come on, they can crawl out of the cribs and it is really only a psychological boundary for them.
I found a queen-sized low-profile futon bed on craigslist so that if they roll out they have only a few inches to the floor...they flop around alot in their sleep, which is why sharing the family bed with them can sometimes be...um taxing...to say the least. They were really excited about the bed thing. Freya was crawling into the covers early and pretending to sleep. At one point she said to me "Get off the bed, Mommy. This is MY bed" Ursula also chastised me at least once for being on her bed. But then when it came to lights out they didn't want us to go. Freya insisted on a light being left on. They wanted me to sit with them. I lay down with them and, though I was about to fall asleep they were up wandering and chatting. I know it was so new to them and they were having a hard time closing their eyes, but I also know that having us in there is very distracting for them and if we just leave they fall asleep. So, with an unsure feeling, not knowing if I had ruined our sleep routine, I left the room. They fussed for about ten minutes and then went straight to sleep. They were so tired. Let me just say, that I know when they really need me in there and when they are being distracted by my presence. They behave differently. I never leave them when they are upset. But here they were just sort of goofing around with their droopy eyes.
I'll take some photos tomorrow of them on their new bed. So much going on today. We had a magnificent family day mostly playing outside in our refreshed and tree trimmed backyard. The cubs jumped in and out of their kiddie pool, sprayed Chris and me with the water hose, ran around naked and....get this...pee pee'd in their potties all day long...and Freya pooped in her potty. Wow, big steps. For the past several months they have NOT been digging the potty thing and mostly peeing on the floor. But today they were all about the potty. They would just go without telling me.
They are also both talking so much now. Full sentences of the funniest things come out of their mouths. The cubs and I were taking a bath the other day and I was really tired. I started rubbing my face and Freya leaned over, hugged me and said "Don't be sad, Mommy, don't be sad" It was so sweet. She also was playing a game with me when I was trying to read a magazine. She would take away the magazine I was reading and hand me a different magazine. I would say, "But I was reading that other magazine" She just shook her head and said "So sorry, Mommy, so sorry" and would continue to take away my magazine replacing it with a an unwanted magazine. I'm assuming that was her way of showing me what it felt like to have something you like taken away. Point taken, my sweets, point taken.
Ursula loved sorting coins. We keep a bowl of pocket change that has grown to quite a collection on the counter in the kitchen. She was crawling up ther and playing with the coins by pushing a chair over (my little climber) I'm trying to convince her to just ask me so that I can put the coins on the floor for her. When I see her playing with the coins she says "It's my game...I'm playing my game" I think it is cute that she calls it "her game"
Speaking of climbing. I've called 911 twice in the past week. Last Sunday we were hanging out running around the UT campus when the cubs started hanging on a chain between two posts. Ursa decided to use it as a swing and fell over backwards conking her head on the cement and knocking herself unconscious. I couldn't believe it. Chris picked her up and was trying to wake her but she was out. I thought I would freak out at a moment like that, but instead a calm spread over me. I felt absolutely nothing...no emotions...I think emotions would have clouded my judgement. I didn't even realize that I had noticed the police call boxes on campus, but obviously part of me had because without saying a word, I turned right around and went directly to one hitting the button and talking to 911. She was only out a couple of seconds and had no concusion. The paramedics checked her out and said she was fine. She was jumping up and down within fifteen minutes. But, I just wonder what we are in for. They are soooooo active and fearless. I love how confident they are in their bodies, but I also worry, especially with two of them. Then a couple of days ago, Ursa was on the floor and Freya picked up a dime and stuck it in her mouth. She was acting funny and Chris thought he felt a dime at the back of her throat. It wasn't coming out so we called 911. We were able to cancel that one, and Freya was fine...but ....really...two 911 calls in one week? That is too much. The day before Ursula fell off a bucket and sliced her finger open dripping blood everywhere and making me wonder if we needed stitches, then the day after that she fell out of Freya's crib while jumping and one minute later smacked her chin on the bar...prompting me to get rid of the cribs. Yikes....writing it like this, sounds crazy.
Ok, must go to bed. This is why I don't blog...so much comes oozing out that my posts are long. Maybe if I blog more I can keep the posts shorter. My sweet wild ones will be waking soon to join me in bed so I better brush my teeth. So much to be joyful about still. The energy that the tree-trimming and clean-up of the backyard opened up is opening in me too. I feel good things existing and dancing around every corner. Which is nice because last month I was in a depression. I'm glad I'm coming out of it. Sukha (good/free/beautiful space) that is my new favorite word, which is why I've added it to my title.
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