My Little Gurus

I just returned from a screening of "Orgasmic Birth" and I want to write a few comments before I forget. First of all, the film was mostly lovely but definitely should not be called "Orgasmic Birth". What I really want to keep sight of, however, is the need for more images of ecstatic beautiful hospital births and even more importantly Cesarean Births. I realize our country has gone cuckoo with interventions and our work still needs to be to shift that energy. But I also think we cannot fight fear with fear. The medical establishment throws fear at expectant parents about the dangers of home births and then we throw more fear at parents about medical interventions. All of a sudden ALL Cesarean Births become bad, and when shown on film, something that everyone gasps at and seems horrified by. Well, you know what? Babies can be born in beautiful Cesarean births. Maybe it isn't the norm, but we need to show people that possibility too.

One pregnant mama in the audience said that she thought she would have a hospital birth because she was scared of a home birth. After seeing the show, she said now she is scared of a hospital birth too. In her words, "Now I don't know where to birth." There are some moms who just don't feel safe birthing at home, they feel safe and protected in the hospital so we need to acknowledge that too and show that they can still have that ecstatic birth there. How can we make all births sacred? That is still my prenatal teacher credo. I think parents need to be informed of the dangers of medical interventions and I think they need to see the possibility of beautiful home births. I believe in birthing at home. But I don't believe in fear-mongering. Fear is NOT the answer. Trust in our bodies and our babies is the answer. We have to trust and know ourselves deeply so that we know when an intervention is necessary and when it isn't. So that we can fully embrace whatever birth we get. That way if a baby needs to be born via Cesarean we can accept that perhaps that is the babies own path and journey. This has reinvigorated me to bring that message to my mamas in my class. To empower them to seek the higher thought. Release the Fear. Embrace and Trust your baby.

And that being said, the other issue I really walked away with tonight was the need for the loving and respectful handling of babies at birth. Babies need to be supported. Not flopped around like this week's fish. This gentle treatment of babies as they come earthside can be done in Cesarean births too. The babies can be gently pulled out, place directly on mamas chest and left there the whole time. That is my biggest regret from the girls birth. If there is anything about their birth that can still bring me to tears it is that. I accept my birth now, but I felt like they were pulled out, hauled off in a corner and then taken away from me before I could get my wits about me. Then they were taken to a cold bright nursery where they were rubbed vigorously and poked by strange hands, wailing their little lungs out. I have the photos. It is horrible but I keep them because I don't want them to have suffered in vain. If there is one thing I could do, if even for one baby, is to get the message across that it doesn't have to be that way. I waited two hours before I even got to see them again and then when we tried to nurse there were attendants and midwife hands roughly pushing the babies on to my breasts trying to get them to latch. Damn, no wonder the poor darlings had a hard time nursing at first. I wouldn't want to eat either if someone was shoving my face into my mashed potatoes. And the thing of it is, I knew better. I studied birthing, I was knowledgeable in the process, I knew more than most mamas going into it and I was still co-opted. Just think of how most parents don't stand a chance against that treatment. The unknown can be so scary to us that we give over our power. It is time to regain it. Once again to trust ourselves, to trust our voices and to know what we want so that we can make it happen.

I feel that perhaps I should get trained in doing birth education so that I can bring my own personal perspective into it. I think I have a somewhat unique one. When there is a gathering like tonight I am always the person talking about the need for sacred Cesarean Births. So many people just want to gloss over it as a horrible procedure..or with the medical establishment, a life-saving procedure...but no one ever talks about how it can be beautiful too.

I also want to focus on support for the mother after the birth. And support for the family unit during the first year. We need our village back. How do we make that happen? Anyway, thoughts for me. I know I can be of use. I heard myself speak tonight to a room full of strangers and I know I have something to say that is worth hearing. That was a nice thing to learn. Another reason I'm grateful for the birth of my girls. Wahe Guru!